We're Married!

After four years together, one year of planning, and 100 dresses tried on and rejected... we're married! It was a smallish 100-person wedding in a quirky garden in New Hope, Pennsylvania. The day was personal and fun, and created so many memories for me, D, and all our guests. Seeing everyone together and saying our vows on a perfect autumn day made all the work and craziness worth it. 

I'll finish what I started and write more about the dress, shoes, food, and general decor. I also have thoughts on crafting your own short but meaningful ceremony, exercise and skincare regimens, and establishing a state of Zen for the final two weeks. But for now, I'll answer the top 4 questions people have.

Do you feel different? 

Since D and I live together, in some ways not much has changed. Now that wedding stuff has died down, we're back to our regularly scheduled program. But there are some differences... 

Sooner than you'd think, you'll have to use the word wife or husband. The Monday after our wedding, D had a doctor's appointment. I'm his emergency contact, but this time, under relationship, he put WIFE. Weird! 

Also, before the wedding, D was basically a stranger that I found in the universe. We were not connected by blood, upbringing, schooling. But a marriage makes an instant, unassailable connection. Maybe that's the difference between fostering a dog and adopting it. In both situations, you're eating, sleeping, and living together. The difference is once you're adopted or married, you're family. 

Are you changing your name? 

Legally, yes. Professionally, no. Some pretty cool and accomplished women already have my married name. 

Where are you going for your honeymoon? 

Australia and New Zealand in Spring 2017. We wanted to wait until our winter/their summer was over. And -- truth -- planning a wedding and an Australian honeymoon was too overwhelming, so we decided to space them out a bit. 

Who were your vendors? 

It might take me awhile to write full posts that unpack all of these roles, so here's the list upfront: 

Venue: Paxson Hill Farm
Planner: Two Little Birds
Caterer: Birchtree Catering
Cake & Desserts: Sweet T's Bakeshop 
Photographer: Weddings by Two
Videographer: Love Note Weddings
Ceremony Musicians: Rittenhouse Music
DJ: Philly Custom DJ
Dress: Truvelle purchased at Schone Bride
Shoes: Paul Andrew purchased on Moda Operandi
Reception Dress: Alice + Olivia
Reception Shoes: Fendi 
Reception Crown: China Cart
Hair & Makeup: Daneene Jensen Hair and Makeup
Floral - Personal Flowers: Pod Shop Flowers
Floral - Decor: Darlene at Paxson Hill Farm
Officiant: Our friend Claire, who has ordained for the occasion by the American Marriage Ministries

... plus a whole lotta DIY by me.

I know it's the "cool girl" thing to pretend like you don't care much about your wedding. But you know what, I care about it, and we worked hard to make it special. Getting married wasn't the pinnacle of my life's accomplishments -- far from it. But it was still an amazing, unforgettable day -- maybe the happiest day of my life. I have so much more to share. More soon! 

Our Final Wedding Tasting

People: do not sleep on the vegetarian option. 

The invites are out and reply cards are coming in. Chicken, beef. Beef, Chicken. I get it. I don't think I've ever requested the vegetarian option at any wedding, and I'm semi-vegetarian. 

I love all our entrees, but I'm most excited about the vegetarian option. At least consider it?? 

OKAY. Now that that's out of the way, onto our tasting with Birchtree Catering! We chose Birchtree because this is the type of food we love to eat: seasonal and local, expertly prepared, with clever flavors and textures.

A couple days ago, we went to their awesome kitchen in Philly for our second and final tasting. Here's what we had... 

Pumpkin agnolotti with nutmeg chili cream, frizzled sage, and toasted hazelnuts

This isn't really a summer bite. But in autumn, oh in autumn it's gonna kill. The house-made pasta is rolled to a millimeter's thickness and barely registers on the tongue. Sage, pumpkin, and toasted nuts are a nod to the season, while the chili's bite and the sage's fry steer it away from cliche. 

Mini crab cakes served with guests' choice of house tartar, cocktail, and malt vinegar aioli sauces

Crab cakes were a must for us. We always order them and have strong opinions on what makes a perfect specimen. We loved this version: low filler, high crab meat, and because it's pan- and not deep-fried, the interior herbs and veggies retain their freshness. 

Prosciutto rolls stuffed with arugula, pecorino, drizzled with olive oil

This bite reminds me of a perfect picnic. Elemental, unadorned, and very good. 

Tomato bisque with mini grilled cheese bites (above) -- I mean, come on. Every element here is a star -- the aromatic bisque, the heady blend of cheeses, and the house-made enriched sandwich bread, soft on the inside and skillet-seared on the outside. 

Solstice salad -- hearty local greens with frizzled shiitakes and shallots, asian pears, black sesame seeds and apple cider vinaigrette

This is going to be a super local salad -- everything down to the apples in the apple cider vinaigrette. I loved how this salad has depth from the mushrooms, sesame seeds, and dressing while also being quite light (which is a good thing, because there's a lot more food coming...). 

Seared skirt steak served at a perfect medium with chimichurri over confit potatoes, slow roasted local tomatoes

At our last tasting, we had the more traditional version of this with demi-glace. It was the type of dish you'd have at a Parisian bistro -- homey but elevated. This time around, we wanted to sample a dish with more pow. This is a meat-and-potatoes dish, yes, but the vibrant chimichurri also has kale and the roasted local tomatoes are bursting with sweet and savory juices. This is like the jock who you later learn plays the oboe and volunteers at a community garden. 

Short rib bricks braised and roasted in bourbon, spice, herbs, with herbed shaved tuscan kale and delicate squash planks, house steak frites

Surprising, right? You expect the short-rib-and-fries dish to be served with a rustic plopping. But I love the how this is so tidy, a present that you just want to rip open. The short rib was super tender and, because it wasn't on the bone, you could simply knife your way down to the plate and get a perfect bite. 

Wild mushroom manicotti with leeks, house ricotta, three basil béchamel with rainbow chard and hickory nuts 

This. This was so good. Like so good I was way stuffed by this point, but I still ate all of this. This might be my favorite pasta dish of all time. It's earthy, rich, creamy, bright, crunchy (those chard stems still had some bite to them), and nutty. It was like a dish engineered to make people swoon. 

To guests: get what you want. But consider the vegetarian dish, too! I wouldn't give you a perfunctory meh vegetarian dish. You know that, right? 

Anyway, this is NOT the final menu, just a peek at what we had the final tasting. I'll leave the actual menu a surprise. 

I will say that I think we built a menu of delicious crowd-pleasers. It's like a playlist. This is not the time to show off your esoteric musical taste. Give the people Livin' On a Prayer.

The Birchtree kitchen is in an awesome building filled with other artists and makers called Global Dye Works. The space used to be a yarn-dying factory and still retains much of its equipment. 

The area on the way to the kitchen and tasting room has a sort of cartoony industrial quality. Think: the factory in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, but less frightening. Birchtree is transforming the space into an official event venue and we're going to try to go to a supper club there once things calm down. 

Menu selection is definitely the best part of wedding planning. I'll take this over dress shopping any day. 

Wedding Odds & Ends: Hairpieces, Clutches & Lingerie

Okay, TWO MONTHS to go until the wedding! 

What’s done: all the major fun vendors. Venue, caterer, cake baker, DJ, ceremony musicians, florist, rehearsal dinner location and caterer, videographer, photographer, hair/makeup artist, invites, planner. And of course the dress and shoes. 

Plus all the nuts-and-bolts vendors: tent, transportation, and restroom trailer. 

Now all that’s left are making decisions with said vendors: finalizing menus, playlist, placement. And a whole host of small details, little things that no vendor totally owns unless you get a full-blown event designer (which we did not get). 

If you look at wedding checklists, you’ll see a ridiculous amount of to-dos. We’ve been working off this checklist from The Knot, but first eliminated anything that seemed like padding. 

Wedding planning is overwhelming already, and I couldn’t deal with “select a caterer” being the same prioritization level as “select your perfume”. (do you feel me #PlannerPorn peeps?) 

But we’re in the home stretch and here’s where the small things become important. But small and miscellaneous can be fun. Here are some things on my mind…

(I’ve checked some of these off my list, but won’t show the things I got here.) 

HAIR ORNAMENTS

I got mine at Bridal Garden, which is a non-profit bridal boutique in NYC that accepts donated gowns and accessories from designers, showrooms, and brides. All proceeds benefit Brooklyn Charter Schools.

I was all for buying a sample or “once-loved” wedding gown, but the competition is pretty stiff and inventory is limited (or brown, or missing a lot of beadwork). You have to be very, very open-minded and patient. Apparently I am not that.

But accessories are another story. There’s no deadline (a custom dress must be purchased 6-12 months in advance) and at least for me there was no pressure to get a DREAM hairpiece...whatever that means. Vintage was an easy decision, and it’s a huge bonus that I also got to help BK kids as well.

But if you’re looking for more ideas beyond your local vintage bridal store, BHLDN has choice selections, including the pearly baby’s-breath-like halo above. Over on Etsy, Erica Elizabeth Designs makes delicate wisps with metal and stone. I like this one that also includes enamel. Jennifer Behr designs, like this crystal headwrap, are very regal.

And if you’re feeling spendy and loopy in equal measure, there’s always this Dolce & Gabbana lemon tiara (and you can wear it to a Beyonce concert, too!).

GARTER

No. This was one tradition I easily crossed off my list.

WEDDING JEWELRY

Without giving too much away...dangly earrings and a necklace would be overkill with my dress. But I still need some flair. My jewelry taste tends more towards the art-and-craftsy… Marni over Cartier. But my shoes are already what you might call “eclectic”, so I’ll do low-key jewels for this one day.

I’m searching for diamond studs with a jacket. The jackets will add pizzazz on the wedding, and I can just wear the studs for everyday. I'll likely stick with costume jewelry for a bracelet though. Even for special occasions, I'd opt for some twine/clay/wood concoction. I'm pretty sure I'd never wear a jeweled bracelet beyond that one day. 

WEDDING CLUTCH

Will I even use a purse? Carrying a purse on your wedding seems so...prosaic. Is it cruel to ask your bridesmaid to hold your lipstick, a compact and maybe your phone and breathmints? And be at your beck-and-call? Perhaps.

So a clutch. It should be nice and should match, but if you’re like me, it will just get thrown with all your other random bags and won’t be a Treasured Item.

In college, I took a class on Buddhism and though I don’t remember most of it, I remember the idea of non-attachment. Things weigh us down (says the girl with multiple shopping posts). You will drive yourself crazy getting sentimental over every single thing.

I love the look of the Rafe faceted shell clutch above, and bonus points because it can be your “something blue”. More reasonably, these tassel and rhinestone netting clutches from Charming Charlie are sparkly and will get the job done with style--and cash to spare.

WEDDING COVER-UP

The wedding is in mid-October, so it will likely get chilly at the end of the night. Let’s just say that my dress has proportions and detailing that require a certain kind of cover-up.

I have reservations about buying fur new, but a vintage fur bolero or stole is always chic. Check out TheRealReal for great deals that won’t make you ethically uneasy, like this winter white fox fur stole.

If my gown were simpler, I’d go with a beaded cover-up. Your Dream Dress carries discounted designer dresses that are new, overbuys, or samples (ie: never worn by a bride at a wedding). And the designers are top-notch. I love this blousy Amsale bolero and this intricately beaded and embroidered Monique Lhuillier.

(side note: when buying “once-loved” items, you may want to work with a store/site that can vouch for every single item. As in, there’s a 3rd party that has confirmed quality and can protect you if the item is not as pristine as you’d like. That’s the case with all the vintage/consignment shops I’ve listed in this post.)    

There’s fur...there’s beading/embroidery...and then there are FEATHERS, like this puffball with wayward wisps.  

Guess which direction I’m going??

WEDDING NIGHT

I’m not great at buying sexy lingerie. On a recent trip to La Perla, I went straight to the caftan section like the old woman I am.

So I was excited when the minxes at Unbound sent me their Bride to Be Box, which includes the musts: a peek-a-boo bra (top photo) and side-tie bottoms. They’re by Hanky Panky, so I know they’re comfortable (see: old woman reference above).

And then there are next level things that I would never think to buy but are amazing to receive: gold mesh bracelets/handcuffs (!), a feather tickler (!!), and a diamond vibrator with 21 settings (!!!).

This would be a great gift for friends to give to a bride for a bridal shower or bachelorette. I really love the idea of Unbound. The items are all sexy, classy, and the right blend of edgy/editorial/romantic… Dita Von Teese meets Dover Street Market meets Anthropology. How cool is this stick-on mask?

At some point I’ll write about the rest: miscellaneous logistics stuff like welcome signs, telling people where they can sit (this seems minor, but people want to be directed), and you know… VOWS.

But, yeah, we’re excited and keeping relatively sane. I often come back to another Buddhist-like mantra: mind like water. React appropriately to the force and mass of the input. Then return to calm. Namaste.

Ancillary Wedding Dress Search: The Cheongsam

In Chinese culture, you're supposed to change gowns for every wedding banquet course. That could be seven to ten dresses.

While I typically love license for costume changes, that's even too much for me. And given what I did for my wedding dress...that times ten equals psychotic levels of shopping. 

But I do like the idea of some Chinese element at our wedding. Typically brides will go to their nearest Chinatown and get a custom cheongsam made, a dress that can cost $700 or more. That's not bad for a custom gown with high-quality silk and hand embroidery...but it's a lot for a look you'll likely never wear again. Why not spend that money on a dress that's Chinese-y enough and is also wearable? 

And so begins my search. 

The Reefy MINI

This Mary Katrantzou has the look of Chinese embroidery, but takes it in a more abstract, aquatic direction. Mary Katrantzou Embellished Tulle Minidress

Note: Though it's not uncommon to see Chinese-American brides wear a white cheongsam, white is the color of death in Chinese culture, reserved for funerals and not weddings. 

The SHAPE-SHIFTER

Here are all the hallmarks of a traditional cheongsam: the dainty collar, the keyhole at the neckline, the slim fit and the high slit. And yet, it's also pretty versatile and could be worn anywhere without feeling costume-y or I-tried-too-hard. Michael Kors Cap Sleeve Twist Front Gown

The Velvet Aboveground

Red: good fortune and joy. Blue: calmness, trust, immortality. Dial those to jewel tones with some bead embellishments and you have this. Emilio Pucci Appliquéd Lace Minidress.

The RED LACE Lady

If I were to sketch a gown for a custom dressmaker, I'd probably do something like this. A Chinese-y pattern in a simple shape (with a dose of sexiness because, c'mon). Alice + Olivia Roxie Lace Diamond-back Dress

The ME Dress

If I weren't concerned about getting an extra-ordinary dress, I'd get this. It's rather subversive as a wedding cheongsam. The colors and patterns are in the right realm, but the silhouette is all wrong. A cheongsam is supposed to hug your curves, while this one distorts them, squishing your boobs and puffing your hips. This doll-like silhouette is a very common shape in my closet, but probably isn't **special** enough. Erdem Black & Red Embroidered Katja Dress

What do you think of adding cultural elements to your wedding wardrobe? How did you find your dress? 

Photo above: Maggie Cheung in In the Mood for Love

Shoes for An Outdoor Wedding

So, I have the dress... now it's time to think about shoes (or, more precisely, flag the shoes I like so I can buy them when they're on sale). 

Here's a trick with your wedding budget. You have to count everything that's a one-time expense. Flowers, food, tent, entertainment...and that dress. 

But shoes! Here's where you can get a little creative with your accounting. IMO, you don't have to count shoes if you'll wear them again. They're a wedding write-off. (Same goes for your wedding ring.) 

So while you might be tempted by uber bridal shoes like this or this, those might as well be flower crowns because you probably won't wear them again. Unless you're looking for a museum piece, why not go for something a little more versatile. 

Here are the shoes I'm considering for my October, outdoor wedding. Stilettos are out because of the grass. Ethereal elements like feathers are out because I want these to last. Wedges are out because they feel a bit too casual, too Jess circa 1999. What's in? Sturdy, chunky heels and a little bit of humor/edginess/jolie laide (to offset that whole "princess" vibe). 

Lasers and Mirrors

Love the modern romance of these shoes. Plus, I wonder if the heel reflects the grass, so it looks like you're floating upon a golden aura? Nicholas Kirkwood Leda Sandal

The Grown-UP Jellies

Yes, these are PVC. But you can wear them in the rain and look at that diamond-like lucite heel. These are kooky and practical(ish) while also being bridal. Simone Rocha Faceted Heel Sandal

The Rainforest Cafe

We don't really have colors. The wedding is simply "botanical" and these study yet sexy heels fit the bill. Monique Lhuillier Satin Ava Sandal

The Disco Blush

Blush without being babyish. Marni One Band Glitter Sandals

The Oyster

On a day when you're performing in front of everyone you care about, it's nice to have a little secret of your own. Nicholas Kirkwood Champagne Meava Pearl Sandal

The Blue Suede Shoes

I hate the word "tacky" as it relates to weddings. The classy/tacky spectrum is slippery and fraught. Just do whatever you want and the people who love you won't care anyway. But these shoes are gloriously, knowingly tacky and I love them for it. J. Crew Collection Embellished Sandals

Here are allll the shoes I'm considering at the moment. What's your favorite? What shoes did you/will you wear at your outdoor wedding? 

Poetry // The Invitation by Oriah

This is a bit too intense for a wedding ceremony reading, but man, I love it. 

The Invitation

by Oriah

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Wedding Dress Search: The gowns that were almost The One

Ok... you've seen the "weird" ones...the ones that were gorgeous but offbase for various reasons. Today I'm showing the contenders, the dresses I seriously considered. Here goes. 

(btw, the Reem Acra above is pretty... but was never really in the running. I'm not a fan of dropped waists...even if they're dropped only by an inch.) 

THE CUTE EDITORIAL ONE

This was cute but also subversive, unblingy but also luxuriously, meticulously made. Maybe you could call it adorkable (my Kleinfeld stylist would tell you no, please don't call it adorkable). This dress felt the most "me" as I am everyday, as opposed to my nebulous Bride Persona. Amsale Lake Gown. Similar here (I want this one as a rehearsal dinner dress).

The OVERGROWN V-NECK

Pretty! And with such a nice, soft, flowy skirt. Though, what a difference skin color makes. Ivy & Aster Secret Garden. 

THE APPLIQUE A-LINE

I grabbed this one even though it was exactly what I didn't want: the princessy puff. But I couldn't resist the floral applique detailing and beadwork on the bottom (a kind of starry beaded connect-the-dots that you can't see here). From the short time I was in it, I could tell it was also a comfy dress, one you could dance, eat, and hug in. BHLDN Ariane Gown. Similar here (actually, very very similar, such that the Ariane is likely a direct rip-off and ultimately why I didn't want to go with a company that's known for doing this to indie designers). 

THE DAISY CHAIN BUSTIER

This dress amused me, with its sweet daisy straps and neckline... and then a bustier bodice and SEE-THROUGH side panels (yes, I am wearing black underwear in this pic). This had a Rihanna-esque pretty but DGAF attitude. The fit is a bit off here...the cups weren't really cupping the right areas... but you get the idea. Tara Keeley 2501 Gown.  Similar for everyday here.  

THE WEEPING WILLOW

You've seen the Glamour Closet dressing room a lot. That's because my like-to-try-on ratio was very high here. They carry A-list designers (Vera Wang, Elie Saab, Naeem Khan, Reem Acra, Carolina Herrera, Mira Zwillinger, Lela Rose)... but because the dresses are all samples or discontinued styles, they're 50-75% off. Maybe that's why I liked so many of them, too. 

Anyway, that means that the selection can be a little oddball and the good, au courant stuff (plunging V, illusion necklines) goes fast. This Oscar de la Renta had the sweetheart/strapless/ballgown look that I was avoiding, but the leafy applique bottom made up for it. This was the first dress where I did that happy skirt swish you see before a bride gives the word on Say Yes to the Dress. Oscar de la Renta 44E16.

The Simple Slink

Ah, and you thought I was all botanical appliques! This looks body-con in a potentially worrisome way, but in fact this whole genre of dress is pretty flattering. There's no boxy top, just a heavy skirt that pulls on a clingy bodice that's little more than illusion netting, flesh-colored cups, and lace. Instantly form-fitting, with enough weight to smooth out your curves. Martina Liana 775 Gown.

Which brings me to...

The BETTER-FROM-THE-BACK dress 

This Maison Signore shares the same basic mechanics as the Simple Slink dress, except there's more lace, more sheer panels, and more butt-hugging. Those Italians sure know how to treat and appreciate a woman's body (to the tune of 1.1K likes when this pic was reposted on Maison Signore's Facebook page. Yikes!). I couldn't find the exact dress online, but this Maison Signore is close. 

Reminder... I already have my dress. Have you guessed what it looks like now? (Here are all the posts in the series if you need to catch up.) A slightly kooky comfy sheath with botanical appliques and minimal bling? Sorry, but that's not how it worked out. 

What was your favorite dress? 

Wedding Dress Search: The ones I'd love to own, but aren't right for the occasion

Last week I showed you the "weird" ones, the dresses that had a unique POV. Those were dresses that I'd wear to a fashiony event. 

These dresses are more versatile... beautiful, glamorous gowns that are pretty much without fault. It's not them, it's me...and our venue...and that gut reaction of "this is pretty and I want it, but not for the wedding." 

The photo above is the Kelly Faetini Bree dress. I went into this whole dress saga knowing that I didn't want a strapless gown with a sweetheart neckline. So we added lace arm bunting (not the correct bridal term) and it transformed the dress from pretty but mildly forgettable into something with a more sultry silhouette. The thing about side bunting is that your arms are literally on lace leashes. You can make the bunting detachable, but then you're at sweetheart/strapless square one. 

THE CHUNKY LACE COLUMN 

Funny thing about wedding psychosis. You go in thinking you want a certain kind of unfussy, unblingy dress. A normal dress that happens to be white. This BHLDN Catherine Deane gown fits that description. It's easy, elegant, botanical. But somewhere along the line, I convinced myself that the dress needed to be more Bridal (I'll take my kool-aid on ice, thank you). And so this one was a miss. BHLDN Jolie Gown. (Also, curiously, available in navy for $500 more... you'd think it'd be the other way around, but maybe they are constructed differently.) 

THE LEAFY COLLAR 

A long-sleeved wedding dress? So chic. And one with pretty but not precious appliques? I'm sold...almost. I'm a mover and a stretcher, and if I'm going to wear a dress for 9+ hours, it should be pretty comfortable. Despite reassurance that I would not "hulk out" of this dress, I had to take it out of the running. Rue de Seine Roxy Gown. Similar here and here.

The GATSBY MERMAID

I would get this dress in a heartbeat if we were getting married in a ballroom or loft space or restaurant. Anywhere but a garden. The cut and weight of the beading is ridiculously flattering. In the picture above, I'm not trying to mimic the model (I hadn't seen the photo yet). I'm just wondering where my tummy went. Victor Harper Couture 289. Similar here.

THE VERY SEXY WORK DRESS 

I told my bridal salon stylist that this looked like a very sexy work dress and she asked me..."where do you work???" (From home, so what do I know.) Maybe it's the cap sleeve and hardy lace. Or maybe it's my questionable work attire (when I used to work in an office). This had a nice ease to it and the back was also killer, but it didn't have the air of specialness I wanted. Alyne Adella Gown. Similar here and here. 

Btw, you already know this... but you can pin a million pics on Pinterest, but you have to put the dress on! These don't even look like the same dress to me. 

THE RIBBON LATTICE WATERFALL 

If you can divorce yourself from the mania, you might be able to see: these dresses are works of art. Tony Ward is a Beirut-based couturier who uses the most unusual fabrics. I tried on a dress with a modern/romantic Chantilly lace-meets-Pollock. Another with a skirt pinched with floral ridges, like engraved silk. This was a lattice of ribbon that criss-crossed over the bodice, then flowed into a round, full skirt. Up close, this is a stunner. Tony Ward Astagale Gown. Similar here. 

Oh, and guess what?? I got my dress this past weekend! I went with my mom to Schone Bride, a mere 12-minute walk from our apartment and conveniently close to Four and Twenty Blackbirds and Fletcher's. Do wedding dresses go with pie and barbecue? Not really, but between those two places and its Brooklyn DNA, this salon and The Dress feel right. 

I'm still planning on posting other pics... dresses that were almost The One, and possibly "dresses that looked good on models but look terrible on me" ... but come to think of it, not sure why I would do that last one. 

We have a wedding caterer!

I care about food. People know I care about food. People I care about...care about food. So wedding catering is a huge decision and was a bit stressful (though tastings were a ton of fun). 

I'm happy to report that we officially booked our caterer, Birchtree Catering!! Here's what won us over at our tasting. 

Striped vegetable canapes - chive bread, salted cucumber, French breakfast radish, creme fraiche, dill 

Like high tea in a garden. Which is exactly the vibe we're going for in our venue.  

Hen of the woods tarts - Kennett Square mushrooms, house ricotta, pecorino, caramelized onion, herbs 

The only thing worse than perfunctory carbs is perfunctory pastry. You know, that greasy cup that's clearly just a vehicle for whatever's inside. Find me at a cocktail party and I am the shameless person with the plateful of licked-clean pastry. Well this was not that. The pastry was fresh, an essential player rather than a boring stage. 

Chicken shumai with lemongrass and malagueta chili oil

I like the idea of including some Chinese flavors in the menu, if only because they are cozy and familiar to me. But my mother, who doesn't mince words, says if my family wanted Chinese food, they'd go to a Chinese restaurant. 

Lemon capon with roasted lemon, almonds and oven roasted olives, with ricotta gnudi and winter greens 

Capons are the eunuchs of the poultry world. The lack of sex organs result in a less gamey taste (but who ever said chicken was gamey?) and meat that is more moist, tender and flavorful than hens or un-castrated chickens. Probably TMI. 

Anyway, true to its breeding, this was super tender and flavorful. The lemon and olives brought acidity and bite. The gnudi was a surprise too. When I think of gnudi, I think of April Bloomfield's ricotta clouds. As my dad said, these were like mini knishes (high praise for him). 

Smoky hanger steak with demi-glace, roasted sunchokes, frizzled maitake mushrooms, charred baby rainbow carrots 

I know this plate looks kinda empty. But keep in mind, this is a tasting portion and we are really really stuffed by now. This was a solid meat dish, but we'll likely go with a red meat selection with more pow (like the skirt steak with chimichurri) or perhaps the bourbon braised short ribs. 

Food is the most important deciding factor, but we also knew Birchtree was the one for us because of their care, competence and culture fit. Even their office in Global Dye Works reminded us of 195 Morgan, where I worked from 2010-2012 as the Marketing & Events Director of 3rd Ward, and where Dave works now, in a weird coincidence (different company though). 

Now we have to figure out our service style (family style? plated? a hybrid) and finalize the menu. I have an image of no centerpieces...just giant platters of vibrant, delicious food. Flowers are great, but they're no food. 

Wedding Dress Search: The Awesomely Weird Ones

I've lost count of how many dresses I've tried on. I've been to twelve bridal salons (one of them twice). Tried on an average of eight dresses at each. Really ... over 100 dresses?? 

If you said that to me two months ago, I would have thought that was insane. Are dresses really that different? Yes, they are. Very much so. And if you let yourself believe that this dress is the MIDOYL (Most Important Dress of Your Life), then the pressure is very on. (I've chosen to believe this, though I recognize you can be way more chill and will not live a lifetime of debilitating dress regret.) 

D and I decided that he wouldn't see my dress until the day of the wedding, so don't expect to see The One here or on Instagram. But, man, I have SO MANY others to show you! 

Today's post will be...the weird ones! If you know me IRL you know that I like to experiment with fashion and have been known to wear very directional things: turbans, a leather breastplate, puffy armored boleros...you get it. 

I'm naturally drawn to quirkier styles and in bridal, these designs can be so refreshing amongst a sea of sweetheart/strapless cupcakes (no offense to those, they are lovely, but not for me). 

Here are some delightfully weird dresses that I would love to wear if I were, say, doing an editorial shoot. They're just a little too funky for our wedding and my somewhat traditional fiance and family. 

The Fin-de-Siecle Dress

I dug the debauched, deconstructed glamour of this. A little Moulin Rouge, a little garbage pail after you've had a cold. Monique Lhuillier Bouquet Gown at Glamour Closet. Similar here.

The Sexy Jane Austen

A sheer-paneled silk taffeta powder blue gown...with pockets! This had the right mix of sexy/sweet/avant-garde...but for the wedding itself, I think I'd have to line the sheer elements, which kinda takes away what makes it so great. Schone Bride. Similar here, here, and here. 

The everything's-coming-up-roses

Would you believe this dress is practically weightless? Those silk rosettes were so touchable and the cowl neck is such an unexpected bridal neckline. Lakum Suzanne Gown at Schone Bride Trunk Show. Similar here and here.

The Textural Marvel 

This Carolina Herrera had amazing 3d flowers made of petal-like sequins at the waist and shoulders. Everytime you looked at it, there was something new. The super-soft overlay and lace met chunky, crafty detailing. Art teachery vibes, almost Marni-esque. Carolina Herrera Cassidy Gown at Glamour Closet. Similar in black here. (wow those model arms, yeesh)

The Boho Muppet

There are plenty of times when I'd want to look goofy and muppet-like. But probably not my wedding. Temperley Leigh Gown at Glamour Closet. Similar here and here.

I still don't have a dress and the timeline is as tight as can be. Made-to-order gowns can take 6-12 months to make, then alterations take another 1-2 months. (Yes, this is crazy!) We are 7 months out. Defcon 1 ("nuclear war is imminent") as my visibly distressed Kleinfeld consultant told me. 

Truth is...I think I know what dress I want. I'm just letting it marinate a little to make sure I love it tomorrow and the next day and hopefully forever. 

I won't show you that dress until after the wedding...but I already have more wedding dress search posts planned: Gorgeous Dresses I Want But Not For a Wedding, Dresses I Thought I'd Love But Look Terrible On Me, and Dresses That Were Almost The One. 

What do you think of these dresses? Would you go "weird" at your wedding?