Okay, TWO MONTHS to go until the wedding!
What’s done: all the major fun vendors. Venue, caterer, cake baker, DJ, ceremony musicians, florist, rehearsal dinner location and caterer, videographer, photographer, hair/makeup artist, invites, planner. And of course the dress and shoes.
Plus all the nuts-and-bolts vendors: tent, transportation, and restroom trailer.
Now all that’s left are making decisions with said vendors: finalizing menus, playlist, placement. And a whole host of small details, little things that no vendor totally owns unless you get a full-blown event designer (which we did not get).
If you look at wedding checklists, you’ll see a ridiculous amount of to-dos. We’ve been working off this checklist from The Knot, but first eliminated anything that seemed like padding.
Wedding planning is overwhelming already, and I couldn’t deal with “select a caterer” being the same prioritization level as “select your perfume”. (do you feel me #PlannerPorn peeps?)
But we’re in the home stretch and here’s where the small things become important. But small and miscellaneous can be fun. Here are some things on my mind…
(I’ve checked some of these off my list, but won’t show the things I got here.)
I got mine at Bridal Garden, which is a non-profit bridal boutique in NYC that accepts donated gowns and accessories from designers, showrooms, and brides. All proceeds benefit Brooklyn Charter Schools.
I was all for buying a sample or “once-loved” wedding gown, but the competition is pretty stiff and inventory is limited (or brown, or missing a lot of beadwork). You have to be very, very open-minded and patient. Apparently I am not that.
But accessories are another story. There’s no deadline (a custom dress must be purchased 6-12 months in advance) and at least for me there was no pressure to get a DREAM hairpiece...whatever that means. Vintage was an easy decision, and it’s a huge bonus that I also got to help BK kids as well.
But if you’re looking for more ideas beyond your local vintage bridal store, BHLDN has choice selections, including the pearly baby’s-breath-like halo above. Over on Etsy, Erica Elizabeth Designs makes delicate wisps with metal and stone. I like this one that also includes enamel. Jennifer Behr designs, like this crystal headwrap, are very regal.
And if you’re feeling spendy and loopy in equal measure, there’s always this Dolce & Gabbana lemon tiara (and you can wear it to a Beyonce concert, too!).
No. This was one tradition I easily crossed off my list.
Without giving too much away...dangly earrings and a necklace would be overkill with my dress. But I still need some flair. My jewelry taste tends more towards the art-and-craftsy… Marni over Cartier. But my shoes are already what you might call “eclectic”, so I’ll do low-key jewels for this one day.
I’m searching for diamond studs with a jacket. The jackets will add pizzazz on the wedding, and I can just wear the studs for everyday. I'll likely stick with costume jewelry for a bracelet though. Even for special occasions, I'd opt for some twine/clay/wood concoction. I'm pretty sure I'd never wear a jeweled bracelet beyond that one day.
Will I even use a purse? Carrying a purse on your wedding seems so...prosaic. Is it cruel to ask your bridesmaid to hold your lipstick, a compact and maybe your phone and breathmints? And be at your beck-and-call? Perhaps.
So a clutch. It should be nice and should match, but if you’re like me, it will just get thrown with all your other random bags and won’t be a Treasured Item.
In college, I took a class on Buddhism and though I don’t remember most of it, I remember the idea of non-attachment. Things weigh us down (says the girl with multiple shopping posts). You will drive yourself crazy getting sentimental over every single thing.
I love the look of the Rafe faceted shell clutch above, and bonus points because it can be your “something blue”. More reasonably, these tassel and rhinestone netting clutches from Charming Charlie are sparkly and will get the job done with style--and cash to spare.
The wedding is in mid-October, so it will likely get chilly at the end of the night. Let’s just say that my dress has proportions and detailing that require a certain kind of cover-up.
I have reservations about buying fur new, but a vintage fur bolero or stole is always chic. Check out TheRealReal for great deals that won’t make you ethically uneasy, like this winter white fox fur stole.
If my gown were simpler, I’d go with a beaded cover-up. Your Dream Dress carries discounted designer dresses that are new, overbuys, or samples (ie: never worn by a bride at a wedding). And the designers are top-notch. I love this blousy Amsale bolero and this intricately beaded and embroidered Monique Lhuillier.
(side note: when buying “once-loved” items, you may want to work with a store/site that can vouch for every single item. As in, there’s a 3rd party that has confirmed quality and can protect you if the item is not as pristine as you’d like. That’s the case with all the vintage/consignment shops I’ve listed in this post.)
There’s fur...there’s beading/embroidery...and then there are FEATHERS, like this puffball with wayward wisps.
Guess which direction I’m going??
I’m not great at buying sexy lingerie. On a recent trip to La Perla, I went straight to the caftan section like the old woman I am.
So I was excited when the minxes at Unbound sent me their Bride to Be Box, which includes the musts: a peek-a-boo bra (top photo) and side-tie bottoms. They’re by Hanky Panky, so I know they’re comfortable (see: old woman reference above).
And then there are next level things that I would never think to buy but are amazing to receive: gold mesh bracelets/handcuffs (!), a feather tickler (!!), and a diamond vibrator with 21 settings (!!!).
This would be a great gift for friends to give to a bride for a bridal shower or bachelorette. I really love the idea of Unbound. The items are all sexy, classy, and the right blend of edgy/editorial/romantic… Dita Von Teese meets Dover Street Market meets Anthropology. How cool is this stick-on mask?
At some point I’ll write about the rest: miscellaneous logistics stuff like welcome signs, telling people where they can sit (this seems minor, but people want to be directed), and you know… VOWS.
But, yeah, we’re excited and keeping relatively sane. I often come back to another Buddhist-like mantra: mind like water. React appropriately to the force and mass of the input. Then return to calm. Namaste.